Weird things that take Kenyans to Mombasa

December 16, 2013 4:23 AM

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Mombasa is a holiday destination for many Kenyans. In December, the coastal town invariably teems with people because of the awesome holiday experience it offers.

It’s an open secret; Coast women smite most men who visit the region. These women, allegedly, make great girlfriends and wives. It’s believed that they are great cooks. And when it comes to the other ‘food’, they know how to serve it—they, unlike women from other parts of Kenya, allegedly undergo special training from their aunts.

Some sly women from other parts of Kenya have taken advantage of this notion, and are milking it. They pitch tent at the coast, learn the accent, acquire the mien and masquerade as ‘coast women’ and con their way into the hearts of unsuspecting men.

“Following stories and praises of how good coast women are, I once travelled down to sample and have a taste. I met a lady with whom we spend some days together and had lots of fun. I just couldn’t resist her polished Swahili that was laced with some coastal poetic twang.

“But one night, after heavy drinking, she blew her cover. She dropped her guard and spew forth honesty. She began speaking broken Swahili laced with heavy mother tongue interference. She even revealed her real name and I discovered that the ‘Mwanaisha’ she had enthusiastically used to introduce herself with was not her real name.

“However hilarious it was, I felt coned. The feeling was akin to that of a Chinese tourist visiting a far flung destination and buying a souvenir only to return home and stumble on the ‘made in china’ sticker!” narrates Njenga amid giggles.

Matikho is a Mumias based cane farmer. Each and every time he harvested his cane crop and got paid bonuses, he always temporarily relocated to Mombasa. While there, he found the women so addictive that despite being married, he ended up marrying a second wife.

“Each time I harvested my cane, I made it a habit to promote local tourism by travelling to coast to reward my body for the hard work. In fact, it’s coast women who made me travel all the way. Coast women are just the best. Most are soft spoken and are very good at stroking a man’s ego,” he says. Matikho adds that it was through such ritualistic escapades that he got addicted to a Taita woman, so much so that he ‘married’ her as his second wife —secretly.

“Mombasa had become my physical address that I had to ‘install’ a second wife in the town to take care of me, whenever I visit coast. She has my child, and I travel every often to the coast to see her.

When some Nairobians travel to Mombasa especially during festive season, they have a special knack for making people they leave in Nairobi green with envy. They create an impression that they are really going to have fun.

They boast about how they are going to stay in five star hotels and quaff exotic drinks; how they are going to have fun by engaging in activities such as karting, snorkeling, shopping; visiting museums, historical sites and amusement parks, only to arrive at the coast unannounced to inconvenience and subject their coast based relatives to logistical nightmares —regarding boarding arrangements.

Omari, is a victim of such Nairobians. He says his cousin who had promised to visit him ‘one day’ shocked him last December. He says his cousin, together with his wife and kid, arrived unannounced.


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